How a Dented Can of Coconut Milk Helped Me Find Inner Peace
“This can is dented. Do you want a replacement?” he asked as I bagged my groceries at Trader Joe’s yesterday.
I glanced at the slightly dented can and, in about three seconds, noticed a stream of thoughts race through my mind. Dented cans. Botulism. Has anyone ever really been hurt from this? It’s not that dented. I’ll likely be fine.
I took a breath and smiled.
“No, that’s not necessary. I’m practicing letting go of small upsets so I can practice not getting upset about the bigger things in life.”
He nodded, and almost on cue, the cherry tomatoes in his hands spilled across the counter. With a grin, he asked, “Whoa. Do you want a replacement for these?” We both laughed.
This kind man went on to tell me that his wife also works at Trader Joe’s and likes listening to the news on her way to work. He shared that he sometimes avoids it because the news upsets him.
I nodded knowingly. That’s exactly why I practice with the small things. These everyday moments may seem insignificant, but they show me how quickly the mind can turn a tiny disruption into something much bigger. Learning to soften there strengthens me for the moments in life that feel genuinely hard to hold.
Why the Small Stuff Matters
Lately, I’ve been paying closer attention to my mind and trying to catch my reactions earlier, before they spiral into fear or anxiety. Noticing my response to something as ordinary as a dented can might seem trivial, but it really isn’t. Letting go of small upsets begins in these ordinary moments, in the tiny places where irritation can quietly start running the show
What I’ve come to see is that these moments matter not only because they create stress in the body, but because they also shape how we interpret what’s happening. When we’re already stretched thin, even small disruptions can start to feel bigger, more urgent, or more threatening than they really are. Fear can narrow our perspective until a minor inconvenience begins to feel like a genuine problem that needs immediate attention.
When we meet these everyday annoyances with more awareness, we create a little more space between the event itself and the story our mind wants to build around it. Over time, that practice helps us feel less at the mercy of every inconvenience, shift in plans, or moment of not knowing.
From Cans to Coffee Makers: The Everyday Triggers
I recently woke up, went to make my morning coffee, and realized the coffee maker wasn’t working. It was such a small disruption, and yet I could feel the familiar cascade begin almost instantly. Not just frustration, but a whole chain reaction of thought. How am I going to get through the morning without this? What else is going to go wrong today?
It was striking how quickly my sense of steadiness seemed to hinge on something so ordinary.
Maybe for you it isn’t the coffee maker. Maybe it’s traffic making you late, your Wi-Fi dropping during an important meeting, or your child losing a shoe just as you’re heading out the door. These are the kinds of moments that can tip us over when we’re already stretched thin, when there isn’t much margin left. And if you’re someone whose system is especially sensitive or highly attuned, those small disruptions can land even louder in your body.
What stood out to me wasn’t just my reaction. It was how quickly my mind began assigning meaning to the situation. In a matter of moments, a broken coffee maker wasn’t just a broken coffee maker. It started to feel like my whole morning was ruined. That’s the part we often miss.
When Stress Changes What Feels True
When stress rises, our perception can narrow. We become more likely to assume something is wrong, believe the worst, or treat our thoughts like facts. What might have remained a small problem suddenly feels loaded, urgent, and much harder to hold.
When I paused and noticed what was happening, I remembered that my peace doesn’t actually depend on a perfectly functioning coffee maker or a perfectly ordered morning. It’s not always easy to shift in that moment, and sometimes I resist it. But when I do pause, I can feel my shoulders drop, my breath deepen, and my body soften just enough for something to open. From there, I can usually see more clearly.
Each time we practice letting go of small upsets in these everyday moments, we’re reminding ourselves that peace doesn’t depend on everything going according to plan. Sometimes the deepest shift is simply recognizing that what feels intensely true in a stressed moment may not be the whole picture.
Finding Unshakable Peace
I can access that steadier place only because I practice with the small things that threaten to disturb it, even something as minor as a dented can or a broken coffee maker.
The practice itself is simple, though not always easy. First, I help my body settle, even if it’s just through one conscious breath. That small pause creates enough space to notice what is happening inside instead of being completely swept away by it.
From there, I can begin to notice not just the stress in my body, but also the story forming in my mind. What am I assuming right now? What feels suddenly urgent or completely true? Am I reacting to what’s actually happening, or to the meaning fear is assigning to it?
That small pause can change so much.
When we’re stressed, our thoughts can become incredibly convincing. We may become certain something is wrong, that we need to fix it immediately, or that our peace depends on getting external conditions back under control. But often, what needs attention first is not the situation itself. It’s the frightened lens through which we’re seeing it.
When we practice with the little things, we gradually become less shaken by the bigger ones. We begin to trust that even when fear gets loud, it may not be telling the whole truth. And from that steadier place, clearer action becomes possible.
If you’re curious about this kind of deeper support, you can read more about how I can help.
Gentle Invitation
This week, you might simply notice one “dented can” moment in your own life, the kind of small annoyance that usually tightens your jaw, shortens your breath, or pulls you into irritation.
See if you can pause for just a moment before reacting. You don’t have to force anything to change. Just notice what happens if you allow the moment to remain small.
What story begins forming in your mind? What starts to feel urgent, threatening, or suddenly loaded?
That simple noticing can change more than you might expect.
You might notice the irritation passes more quickly. Or perhaps there’s a little more space in your body. Sometimes what felt intensely real just moments ago begins to soften when you stop feeding it with attention and certainty.
And if you’re in a season where life feels much heavier than small upsets, I know these challenges may not feel minor at all. Know that this same pattern often still applies. Stress can make everything feel more absolute, more urgent, and more overwhelming than it truly is.
Sometimes healing begins not with fixing the situation right away, but with recognizing when fear has narrowed what feels true.