For years, I looked like I had it all together. I was a successful OB/GYN and later a functional medicine doctor, helping women deliver babies, balance hormones, and do it all. Most days, I kept myself running on mocha lattes and dark chocolate, pushing through exhaustion because rest felt impossible. On the outside, everything looked fine. Inside, I was quietly unraveling.
What I didn’t understand then was how sensitive my system really was. I could read a room in seconds and feel other people’s stress in my own body. I carried responsibility deeply without realizing how much it was costing me. I was so accustomed to anticipating what others needed and doing what was expected that I rarely questioned the pressure I was putting on myself.
Anxiety, sleepless nights, and depression eventually forced me to pause in a way I never had before. Slowing down was harder than any medical training I’d ever done. At first, I didn’t believe it was safe to rest. I spent years exploring different ways to understand what was happening, hoping that if I learned enough, I’d eventually feel better.
What I’ve come to appreciate is that understanding ourselves is only part of the picture. There’s also value in noticing how we’re experiencing life, including what’s happening in our bodies, what we’re feeling, and how we’re relating to the people around us. This understanding is central to the holistic, body-oriented coaching I offer today.
What Makes Life Coaching Holistic?
When I use the word holistic, I mean that we consider the whole person rather than focusing on one problem or one aspect of your experience. Your thoughts matter, but so do your emotions, your body, your relationships, and your life circumstances. Even beliefs you’ve carried for years may influence how you interpret what’s happening around you.
For example, you might come to coaching because you’re struggling with a relationship. Perhaps you and your partner keep having the same argument, and you can’t seem to understand why it becomes so upsetting. We could explore what happens during those moments, including what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling, what you notice in your body, and what you understand about the situation.
We might also become curious about the expectations or assumptions you bring into the relationship. Perhaps you feel responsible for keeping the peace, or you interpret disagreement as a sign that something is wrong. At the same time, we’d make room for your partner’s behavior and the actual circumstances you’re navigating. Not every difficulty comes from something happening inside you.
That’s part of what makes this approach holistic. Rather than isolating one reaction or trying to identify a single cause, we consider the different aspects of your experience and how they may influence one another.
How Body-Oriented Coaching Fits In
One important part of my approach is including the body in our conversations.
You may already have a good understanding of your thoughts and feelings. But sometimes there’s more to notice when we pay attention to how an experience feels from the inside.
Perhaps you’re talking about a difficult decision and notice that your breathing has become shallow. Or you describe an interaction with a family member and realize you’ve been holding tension in your shoulders. These sensations can offer another way to become curious about what’s happening, especially when words alone don’t seem to capture the experience.
That doesn’t mean your body has an answer you need to uncover. Bodily sensations don’t always tell us whether our interpretation of a situation is accurate. Feeling threatened doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in danger, just as feeling guilty doesn’t automatically mean you’ve done something wrong.
We can include what you’re noticing in your body without treating it as the final word. Sometimes the sensations change as we explore an experience, and sometimes they don’t. Either way, they’re welcome as part of the conversation.
What Happens in a Holistic Coaching Session?
You don’t need to arrive with a clearly defined problem or a plan for what you want to accomplish. We can begin with whatever matters to you that day, whether it’s a difficult relationship, a decision you’re facing, or a feeling you haven’t quite been able to put into words.
Coaching is a collaborative process, with the client bringing her own understanding of her life rather than looking to the coach for answers. I’ll listen, ask questions, and occasionally offer an observation that you can consider for yourself. We may explore a familiar pattern or pause to notice something that’s happening in the moment. There’s no expectation that you need to arrive at a particular insight or emotional state.
Sometimes a question helps you notice something you hadn’t considered. You might recognize an assumption you’ve been making, discover conflicting feelings about a decision, or become clearer about what you actually want.
Other times, there may be nothing to figure out. You might simply appreciate having someone listen without rushing you toward a solution, especially when you’re navigating circumstances that don’t have easy answers.
My role isn’t to tell you what your experiences mean or what choices you should make. We explore them together, with curiosity and respect for your own understanding of your life.
What Might Shift with Holistic Coaching?
One thing I appreciate about holistic coaching is that we don’t have to separate personal growth from the realities of everyday life. You might come to coaching because of difficulties at work, only to discover that similar concerns arise in your relationships. Or you may begin by talking about a family conflict and find yourself reflecting on beliefs you’ve carried since childhood.
These connections aren’t always obvious at first, and we don’t need to search for them. They may emerge naturally as we explore what matters to you.
Over time, you may notice familiar reactions sooner or become less certain about interpretations that once seemed unquestionable. Perhaps you can express a need more directly, reconsider an assumption, or allow a difficult feeling to be present without immediately trying to change it.
Of course, greater awareness doesn’t mean difficult feelings disappear or life suddenly becomes easier. Real responsibilities, losses, and challenges can’t be resolved simply by changing our perspective. Holistic coaching makes room for those realities, too.
What interests me is the possibility that when we have room to explore more of our experience, we may begin to see choices that weren’t obvious before.
An Invitation to Explore
My own experience has taught me that personal growth doesn’t have to be another project to manage or another place where we measure how well we’re doing.
For me, holistic coaching offers something different: a relationship where you can bring more of yourself into the conversation, including the parts of your experience that feel uncertain, uncomfortable, or difficult to understand. If you’re curious about what working together might look like in your own life, you can learn more about how I can help.
Jessica Wei, MD, is a former physician and holistic, body-oriented life coach. Her work brings together thoughtful conversation, somatic awareness, and compassionate inquiry to support women navigating stress, relationship challenges, and life transitions.