Okay. Day Five. Let’s be honest. I’m no longer in love with this, AND I understand the benefit. So, press on!

 

Rations Day 5 (same as Day 3): tea, one nut bar, two soups, one package of kale crackers, one algal capsule, one MVI, 32 ounces of glycerol drink.

 

Observations from Day 4 into Day 5:

 

1. I wanted to throw in the towel yesterday. I was soooo hungry. I had a mild headache and felt light-headed. I ended up chopping my olives and 4×4 cm choco nut bar into tiny pieces to eat them. My best friend advised me that this is what those who struggle with anorexia might do… Obviously, this is a different context, I felt the need to make every bite count.

 

2. No BM yesterday likely because there is so little residuum to create one. (Necessary to mention, sorry.)

 

3. I woke up this morning feeling pretty dysphoric and light-headed. And hungry. Felt better after the 75% fat 280 cal nut bar and coffee. Wondering what my blood sugar was when I woke up. Wondering what my neurotransmitter status was when I woke up (y’ know, serotonin, dopamine, epinephrine, etc. ). When (if) I repeat this next month, I will use a continuous blood sugar monitor to observe how the fluctuations in energy and mood correlate with blood sugar.

 

4. Mildly challenging to be doing this fasting mimicking thing at the end of the week when traditionally, I’d be going out with friends to enjoy a good meal together. Next time, Sunday through Thursday.

 

5. This is certainly not for everyone to do. I talked about the potential benefits on the first day, and I have no way to measure what the benefit has been for me other than the observations of weight, energy, mood, and relative inability to focus.

 

6. I’ve been watching my mindstream closely. This morning I found myself making slideshows of my two sons on my iPhone, choosing the best pictures and music. Usually, I would never pause to do this… It was fun, and I found my mind judging me. “You should be doing something productive! You haven’t gotten much done in the past few days!” O-kayyyyy… While I would never fault another parent for making cute photo slideshows of their children, somehow for me, it’s not acceptable. My point in sharing this is that often we don’t slow down to watch our thoughts. Those of us who have a meditation practice understand that sitting quietly allows us to understand the mindstream of thoughts nonjudgmentally, to know oneself well. To know oneself well is then to have the insight and ability to act skillfully in the world. Fasting and meditation, often regarded in different religious traditions as a means of purification, cleansing of mind, a means to draw closer to God… Things to consider.

 

Tomorrow will be Day 6: a transitional day during which it is recommended to start with soup and juice and then light meals with rice/pasta and small amounts of fish, meat, and legumes. Resume normal diet on Day 7.

 

What is important to understand is that much of the imbalance we experience in the body stems from autonomic nervous system dysfunction. Huh? This body we have knows how to take care of itself. AND, when subjected to thousands of stressors, these innate mechanisms of digestion and absorption, defense and repair, messaging and energy production, and so on, are disrupted. And then manifest as dis-ease, the symptoms that make life sometimes difficult to navigate.

 

This experiment of mine these past few days has been to explore and observe one possible way to reset the messages within the body, as well to create regeneration within, rather than continuing degeneration.

 

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll be able to speak in more plain terms. 🙂

 

Right now, I’m going to drink more tea, read my murder mystery novel, and watch the slideshows I created of my two precious sons. Gratitude despite being a bit hungry and grumbly.

 

Have an amazing day.